


Nightmares

by jlshadowstar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 09:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6513031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlshadowstar/pseuds/jlshadowstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has terrible nightmares about the next battle in Shiganshina</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Some potential spoilers for the manga

_ I feel the wind whip against me as my 3D gear hooks to the side of a building and I swing up to the roof in order to catch my breath. As I do, I look around me. The situation isn’t good. We had come to Shiganshina in order to find out what’s hiding in my basement and hopefully find a way to put an end to this war. We weren’t counting on an ambush waiting for us. Now we’re completely surrounded by Titans. The Colossal and Armored Titans are within the walls, while the Beast Titan, along with an army of the monsters have us boxed in from without. I catch sight of Armin with Mikasa draped over his shoulders out of the corner of my eye and go over to meet them. _

_ “What happened?” I demand as I approach. Mikasa’s barely conscious and her clothes are stained with blood. _

_ “Eren? What are you doing here?” Armin demands of me “You’re supposed to be in your Titan form.” _

_ “I was, but the body was so damaged I had to abandon it,” I explain, “I’ll make another one, but it’ll be some time before I can make one strong enough to stand against the Colossal and Armored Titans. But that’s not what matters, what happened to Mikasa?” _

_ “Shrapnel,” Armin tells me, “We tried the Thunder Spears on the Colossal and she got caught in the blast.” _

_ “I’m fine,” Mikasa says weakly and tries to move away from Armin, only to lurch forward when she tries. _

_ “No, you’re not,” Armin says, “Just lay still.” _

_ “Where are the others?” I ask. _

_ “Connie, Sasha and Jean went after the Colossal, we don’t know anything from the frontlines.” _

_ My blood runs cold. Levi went to the front lines with Commander Smith, is he ok? My heart goes cold at the thought. No, Levi’s fine. I try to convince myself. He has to be. I don’t know what I’d do if he wasn’t.  I don’t get to think about it long before a blood curdling scream cuts through the air. I look to where the scream came from and see Sasha in the hand of the Colossal Titan, struggling against the hold. The Titan tightens its grip around her and Sasha’s body falls limp. Connie lets out an audible cry of anguish and immediately rounds on the Titan. Only to be swatted away like a fly. Connie goes flying and crashes into the side of a nearby building. There was no way he could’ve survived that. This isn’t good. Jean swings around the Titans and circles to us. _

_ “Shit,” he says as he lands. “They’re too strong.” _

_ “We need to fall back,” Armin puts in, “Meet up with Captain Levi and the Commander.” _

_ “We won’t make it with those bastards on our heels,” Jean says grimly. Things fall silent for a moment. Shit, I can’t shift yet, the body would be too weak to hold up against them long enough to mean anything. I feel so helpless! _

_ “Eren,” Jean says to get my attention. _

_ “Yeah,” I respond. _

_ “Get them to the Wall,” he tells me, “I’ll keep these two busy. _

_ “Jean that’s crazy!” I tell him, “They’ll kill you!” _

_ “We’re all dead if we go together!” He yells, “At least this way, you guys have a chance.” _

_ “Yeah, but,” I start but trail off. We can’t just abandon him here alone. _

_ “I’ll help you,” Mikasa says as she struggles to her feet. _

_ “Mikasa no!” Armin yells, “You can barely stand!” _

_ “We’re running out of time!” She shouts back at him, “You and Eren get to the Wall. We’ll hold them off.” _

_ “Mikasa, you can’t,” I say, fighting tears, “I can’t lose you.” _

_ “Eren, when your father adopted me, I made a promise to myself that I’d protect my new family, no matter what it takes,” she explains to me, “Let me protect you one last time.” _

_ My eyes sting from how bad I want to cry, but I can’t let myself. Not here. Not on the battlefield. Mikasa takes her scarf off and wraps it around my neck before pressing a soft kiss against my cheek. _

_ “Now go,” she tells me, “You and Armin get out of here.” _

_ And with those words her and Jean took off towards the Colossal and Armored Titans. I fight the urge to go after them and start in the opposite direction. Armin follows close by. I keep watch over Jean and Mikasa out of the corner of my eye. Due to her injuries, Mikasa can’t properly maneuver her gear. The Armored Titan catches one of her lines and slams her downwards. She hits the ground hard and I fight the urge to go back and see if she’s ok. I’m already aware that she couldn’t have survived an impact that hard. Jean somehow manages to get behind the Colossal Titan and attempts to land a killing blow; only to be killed when the Armored Titan lands a punch to the back of the Colossal’s neck. A blow made specifically to kill Jean. I turn my attention away from the scene and focus on getting to the Wall. Once there, me and Armin scale it and see the situation on the other side is just as grim. It looked like someone had set off a ton of explosives here. _

_ “Eren?” I hear a familiar voice say and my heart leaps at the sight of Levi. I run to him without thinking and wrap my arms around him. _

_ “Thank god, you’re ok,” I choke out, “I couldn’t take it if you were gone too.” _

_ “I’m glad you’re ok too, but now’s not really the time for this,” he says struggling against me. “In case you haven’t noticed we’re under heavy fire.” _

_ I snap back to my senses and let him go. _

_ “Sorry,” I say weakly.  _

_ “Is there anyone else?” He asks glancing from me to Armin. _

_ “No, it’s just us,” I tell him. _

_ “Oh,” he says calmly. He’s trying not to let it affect him, but I could see that he was hoping to hear there were other survivors. _

_ “I’m sorry,” I tell him, “I couldn’t protect them.” _

_ “That’s war for you, but we don’t have time to have a pity party at the moment.” _

_ “Do you have a plan?” I ask. _

_ “Yeah, I’m going after the Beast Titan,” he tells me and my heart sinks. No. _

_ “Levi, you can’t! It’s suicide!” I tell him. _

_ “Erwin and the others are gonna distract him,” he continues. “With any luck, we’ll at least get him.” _

_ “Levi,” I say grabbing his hand, “Please. Don’t go.” _

_ Levi leans in and presses a soft kiss against my lips before pulling away. _

_ “I’m sorry,” he says before taking off. _

_ “Levi!” I shout after him and start to sprint after him. Suddenly a loud explosion from behind sends me flying. My ears ring loudly as I look around, a huge hole was blown in front of the Wall not far from where me and Armin were standing. Oh shit, Armin! _

_ “Armin!” I call out but I could barely hear it over the ringing in my ears. “Armin!” _

_ I look around for him and see him leaning against the Wall not far from the blast, his hands covering his eyes. I run over to him. _

_ “Armin,” I say to catch his attention as I stop next to him. _

_ “Eren?” He says moving his hands. Blood trickles down the corners of his eyes. Shrapnel must’ve gotten into them, “Where are you?” _

_ “I’m right next to you,” I say. _

_ “Oh god, I can’t see!” He yells burying his face in his hands again. Armin starts to cry and I place a hand on his shoulder. _

_ “It’s gonna be ok,” I try to assure him, even though I don’t believe it myself. The sound of multiple flares firing off catches my attention. The surviving scouts had mounted the horses and ridden out towards the Beast Titan led by Commander Smith as Levi had said. They were lined up in front of him; staring death in the face.  A barrel falls from the sky above them and a loud explosion sound off. There’s no way anyone survived that. The smoke from the flares starts to clear and I see a shadow move behind a long line of Titans. Levi. The Beast Titan pays no attention to what’s happening around him and a small shred of hope fills me. This plan might actually work. Right as Levi reaches the Beast, the massive Titan reaches behind him and pulls Levi right out of the air. My blood runs cold. No, please god no. I sprint away from Armin and bite my hand. The body won’t be strong but it’ll be enough to get Levi out of there. As I run, the Beast Titan holds Levi in front of his face and opens his mouth to reveal sharp teeth. Shit, I’m running as fast I can, I try to push myself to go faster and trip over my own feet. Levi looks over his shoulder and shows me a faint smile. Right before the Beast Titan bites down on him.  _

 

“Levi!” I yell out as I look around, my heart racing. 

“Eren, hey, calm down,” I hear Levi tell me quietly and I look over to see him lying next to me. His hand is on mine, and tears start to spill out of my eyes as I cling onto him. Levi sits up wraps his arms around me.

“Another one?” He asks and I nod. I’ve been having nightmares like ever since Commander Smith announced we were returning to Shiganshina soon.

“It’s was different this time,” I tell him. Despite how many times I’ve had these nightmares, this was the first time Levi had died in them.

“How so?” He asks.

“I saw you die,” I tell him and I feel his hold loosen for a moment.

“That must’ve been awful, I’m sorry,” Levi says quietly.

“Levi, it was so real, I thought I had actually lost you!”

“Eren, it’s ok, I’m right here,” he assures me, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t say that!” I yell at him, “We leave for Wall Maria tomorrow. Can you promise me everything’s gonna be ok? That you’re gonna be ok?”

“I can’t promise that, because I have no control over what’s gonna happen when we get there. But I can promise you this. I won’t go out easily. I will fight as hard as I can so you never have to know what it’ll feel like to lose me. I promise I’ll keep fighting so I can come back.”

I got the kind of answer I was expecting. Levi’s not the type to tell someone everything’s gonna be ok if he’s not sure it’s gonna be himself.

“Will that be enough?” I ask.

“I hope so. But even if it isn’t, I want you to know I love you Eren. More than you can ever imagine. There was never a moment I doubted that.”

“Don’t say things like that!” I demand. “You make it sound like...”

He makes it sound like he doesn’t think he’s coming back.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you things will be fine, but I don’t know that they will be.”

“I can’t lose you Levi,” I say weakly,  “I just can’t.”

I feel Levi’s fingers slide under my chin and tilt my head up. His lips press against mine softly. He always does this when words feel, for some reason that I’ll never understand whenever Levi kisses me it feels like everything’s going to be ok. That nothing could ever go wrong. Levi pulls away for a second and meets my gaze for a second before leaning in again. He kisses me again with more energy than before. I feel his tongue swipe across my lips and I open my mouth for him. His tongue tangles with mine and I feel his hand slide under my shirt and across my chest. I lean into the kiss and trail my hand down Levi’s stomach. Levi pulls away from the kiss long enough to pull my shirt over my head and lay me down on the bed.

“Don’t think about the mission anymore tonight Eren,” he tells me softly, “Tonight, I want you to just lay there and let me show you just how much I love you. I want you to feel exactly how much I care for you.”

He lifts his shirt over his head and leans in to kiss me again. His fingers toy with my nipples as he kisses down my neck and over my collarbone. I let a small sigh escape at the feeling of his lips brushing against my skin and a warm feeling washes over me. Levi moves lower and kisses the center of my chest as he pulls my pants down enough to expose my cock. I’m already half hard as I feel Levi start to stroke me slowly. He rolls his tongue over one of my nipples as he jerks me off and I tangle my fingers lightly in his hair.

“Hah...Levi....” I gasp out as pleasure starts to build up between my hips. He quickens the pace a little as he switches his attention to my other nipple. My whole body feels hot, as Levi continues to tease me. Precum starts to leak from my tip and Levi uses it to coat my cock. The wetness intensifies the feeling of his motions immensely.

“Ah,...mm, hah,” I can’t keep the moans from spilling out at this point. Levi starts to trail kisses over my stomach as he pauses his motions long enough to pull my pants off completely. He runs his fingers gently up the inside of my thigh, prompting me to open my legs for him. A request i happily comply to. He sticks two fingers in his mouth, coating them with saliva before taking them out. I feel his fingers press against my entrance as he runs his tongue along the underside of my cock from base to tip.

“Ah!” I moan sharply at the feeling. He presses his first finger into me as he takes the head of my cock into his mouth. I resist the urge to thrust up into the wet warmth that surrounds me and I feel Levi start to move his finger inside me. Twisting and curling, prompting me to open up for him. He sucks me in time with the movement of his finger and the feeling of it is enough to drive me insane.

“Fu, Levi,...ah,” 

Wet sounds fill the room as I feel Levi press another finger into me. It’s tight and hurts a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Levi starts to suck me harder and faster to distract me. I look down at him as he takes me from the front and from behind. Even like this, he’s still so beautiful. I reach down and brush his bangs out of his face for him. 

“Ah!” I gasp sharply as Levi’s fingers push hard into me against a particularly sensitive spot. Levi glances up at me for a moment before repeating the action.

“Levi!” I almost shout out at the feeling, it feels like my nerves are being attacked. He repeats the action a few times as he buries my cock as deep into his throat as he can.

“Fuck...Levi, ah, ah!” I can’t control the sounds coming from my mouth anymore and I completely give in to the pleasure Levi’s giving me. But right as I’m about to come, Levi stops. The feeling of all that pleasure built up with no realize causes a painful ache and I let out a small whine at the feeling. Levi flashes a small smile at my reaction and pulls his fingers out of me. He kisses me gently as he pulls his pants off.

“It’s ok,” he assures me, “You’ll be able to come soon enough.”

Levi hooks his arms under my knees and pushes them up towards my chest; leaving me completely exposed. If it were anyone else looking at me like this, I’d be embarrassed. But with Levi, I have nothing to hide. He lines himself up at my entrance and pushes in.

“Ngh.. Levi,” I gasp as he fills me. The feeling of being stretched hurts a bit, but I don’t care in the slightest. I love the way it feels when Levi’s inside me. Once fully inside, Levi starts moving. He  steadily thrusts into me and I feel the pressure from before grows even stronger.

“Ah...hah, Levi....”

I watch Levi as he moves, the way his muscles tighten when he pushes into me, the way his face softens at the feel of being inside me, the way the look in his eyes lights up whenever he looks at me. I love it all so much! I never want to lose this, and suddenly the feeling that I may actually lose Levi tomorrow creeps up on me and snaps me back to reality. Tears fill my eyes and before I can stop myself; I’m crying again.

“What’s wrong,” Levi asks as he stops moving. “Am I hurting you?”

“No, I’m sorry,” I assured, “I’m just scared.”

“Scared? Of what?” He asks.

“Scared that we’re never gonna get another night like this,” I tell him, “That I’m going to lose you.”

“I thought I told you to to stop worrying about that.”

“I want to, but I can’t! I’m trying to think about, but I love you. I love you so fucking much Levi it hurts. And that’s why the thought of losing you scares me so much.”

I expect Levi to get angry; to accuse me of overthinking things again. But his actions surprise me instead. He leans in and kisses me lightly before resting his forehead against my shoulder.

“That’s why I’m scared,” he tells me, “I don’t fear death, I’m scared of leaving you. I don’t want to be forced away from you Eren. I don’t want to hurt you. Ever since we first got together, I’ve afraid of two things. Losing you, and being killed. If I die, I can’t hold you like this again. I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again. I try not to think about it, but when you talk like this, I can’t help but think about it and it drives me insane!”

I say nothing. What am I supposed to say? Levi’s never allowed himself to appear this vulnerable before; even in front of me. But feelings of guilt wash over me, it’s my fault he feels this way. I wrap my arms around him. 

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I’m just scared. I’ll stop talking about it. Please, don’t be so upset.”

Levi looks up and presses another kiss against my lips before meeting my gaze.

“You really are a brat, you know that?” He accuses and I see him start to bounce back a little. He starts moving again and it becomes obvious that neither of us cooled down in the slightest in the break we had taken. The heat and pleasure builds back up almost instantly as Levi gets faster and a little rougher.

“Ah...ah, hah, mmph...ah!” 

The sound of our skin slapping together fills the room. I feel Levi’s hand cover mine; I turn my hand around and intertwine our fingers. His grip tightens a bit as he starts to fuck me harder.

“Eren,” he gasps out.

“Ah! Levi...feels so..good! Ah, ah!”

My grip on his hand tightens as he focuses attention on my most sensitive spots. I feel myself come completely undone. Wave after wave of pleasure crash over me and my vision starts to blur. My skin feels like it’ll burst into flame any moment, and I wouldn’t care if it did. 

“Hah, mm...gonna...ah, come, ah..Levi!”

Suddenly everything goes white and feeling of pure euphoria shoots throughout my body; causing every muscle I have to go tense. Cum sprays from my cock all over Levi’s stomach and I feel him push into me hard before going still. A sticky warmth fills me as the last tremors of my climax start to ebb away and I realize Levi had come too. He pulls out of me and collapses on the bed next to me. He’s completely exhausted. I roll over and wrap an arm around his body; pressing a hand against his chest. He covers my hand with his and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“Try to sleep,” he tells me, “You’re gonna need your strength.”

Feelings of uneasiness return, but I push them away and close my eyes. He’s right, I won’t be very useful if I’m not well rested.

 

**The Next Day**

 

This is bad, my heart starts pounding hard. The Armored Titan should be down, he took a direct hit from the Thunder Spears but for some reason, he was able to get back up. I had attacked the Colossal Titan and gotten sent flying across the District turned battlefield. I landed on the Wall; I struggle to move but my body’s too destroyed. I escape from my Titan form as a feeling of deja vu washes over me. This is too familiar. I use my gear to maneuver back to where my friends were fighting the Titan inside the wall. When I arrive, I’m greeted by the sight of Sasha, Connie and Jean fighting the monster, while Armin supports a bloodstained Mikasa on a nearby building. My blood runs cold, just like in my dream. I go over to Mikasa and Armin who look at me in surprise.

**“** Eren? What are you doing here?” Armin asks me, “You’re  supposed to be in Titan form.”

“I was, but it's too damaged to move,” I say trailing off. A bad feeling fills my chest right about now...

As if on cue, Sasha’s scream is heard right before she’s crushed in the Colossal Titan’s hand.

“And then Connie..” I whisper softly and look over, right as Connie gets knocked out of the air. Shit, my nightmare is happening. No, this is a dream, it has to be another dream. None of this can possibly be real. I’m still asleep next to Levi in my room. I’ll wake up soon. Jean comes over to us and starts speaking.

“Shit,” he says, “They’re too strong.”

Then Armin gets the idea to fall back. Jean says he’ll distract them, and Mikasa agrees to back him up. She tells me about the promise she made herself when we became family, puts her scarf on me and kisses my cheek. Just like before. They head for the Titans, me and Armin head for the Wall. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Mikasa get slammed against the ground and Jean get crushed. Even though it’s just a nightmare, it still hurts to watch them get killed. Me and Armin scale the wall and find Levi on the other side.

“Eren, you look like hell,” Levi tells me before turning to Armin, “No survivors?”

Armin shakes his head.

“Just us,” I tell him.

“I’m going for the Beast Titan,” he tells me. “Erwin’s gonna distract him.”

“Levi, don’t go!” I yell, grabbing his hand. Even if it is just another nightmare, I can’t bring myself to watch him die. I can’t let that happen. Levi presses a soft kiss against my lips before turning to leave.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly before going. I start after him and an explosion goes off behind me. I turn and look for Armin, and see him against the wall, just like before.

“Eren, where are you?” He asks as blood trickles out the side of his eyes. He’s blinded from the shrapnel. Almost on instinct I shift into my Titan form and go after Levi, right as another explosion goes up. I look over and see the crater where the remaining scouts made their last stand with Commander Smith. No. I continue running as the flare smoke clears and I see Levi go for the strike behind the Beast Titan. Shit. I trip over myself as the Titan catches Levi and hold him in front of his face; opening his mouth. No.

“Levi!” I attempt to shout out, but it comes out as an incoherent cry in my Titan form. The Beast closes his jaws around Levi and blood sprays everywhere. I shake and scream and cry, but for some reason I’m not waking up. I want to wake up. Come on Eren, wake up.

 

Why can’t I wake up? 


End file.
